A Very Intentional New Year by Danielle Henderson

Danielle Henderson writes about film, television, and pop culture for dhendersonphotosmallerVulture, Cosmopolitan, The Guardian, and other publications, where she sort of can’t help writing about race, gender, and class. She is a former editor and current staff writer for Rookie, and a book based on her popular website, Feminist Ryan Gosling, was released by Running Press in August 2012.

This past May when I was in China for work, I visited a few temples to step out of the busy streets and into some moments of calm. Incense cones the size of serving platters hung above me, sending off waves of smoke in the dark, cool buildings.

People stood and prayed at huge stone altars, and the only sound around me was the soft slipping of shoes on the concrete floor. I wanted to fill my head with the gentle energy all around me. I closed my eyes to meditate on the moment, and for 20 minutes the only thought that floated to the surface, no matter how much I tried to shoo it away, was “Fucking hell, the world is a pit of absolute garbage.”

The temple was lovely, but I was still overcome with the awful events of the world at large.

The end of the year can be particularly tough in this way. Most of us are excited to get a calendar-mandated fresh start each year, but this year feels like it was on a specific mission to beat people up BramhallCartoonand steal their allowance. The New Year, our cultural restart button, could not get here fast enough.

Last week, I tried to make a list of things that made me excited in 2014, and it looked like a verse from Billy Joel’s “We Didn’t Start the Fire,” just filled to the brim with wave after wave of horrible memories—lost planes, corrupt political figures, Mike Brown’s murder in Ferguson, Ridley Scott saying inane things about Hollywood whitewashing, police officers outfitted like G.I. Joe cartoon characters, Benedict Cumberbatch getting engaged to not me…I’m completely exhausted. Even though the world currently feels like a terrible nightmare, I had a good year personally, which I owe entirely to lists and huge amounts of solitude.

There’s something restorative about being alone, and I take great comfort in it.

Some people feel like they have to plan a week in the woods like Henry David Thoreau or The Unabomber to get clarity and focus, but sometimes it’s as easy as staying away from the internet for a few days.

I like to start every year with a week away from social media.

Consuming the constant, social-media1rolling thoughts of the world at large is fun, but sometimes makes it difficult for me to focus on how I feel before I’m inundated with other people’s ideas.

It’s possible that I’m just defective, but I find that turning off social media for a bit quickly shakes me back to a place where my ideas come to the surface much easier.  I take the social media apps off of my phone and allot myself 1-2 hours a day total to be online and check email news sites. Surprisingly, I really don’t need more time than that to stay current but I tend to drag it out over 8-10 hours a day like everyone else, so I revisit my fallow time by taking entire weekends offline throughout the year.

No one is going to give you a medal for staying away from Twitter for 48 hours, but it will make you feel better!

I like to start the year with good intentions, beginning with myself and branching out to how I fit into the rest of the world, and a little time away works wonders for knocking that into focus.

Lists are another great way to set intentions without feeling overwhelmed.

My life runs on lists, which is more exciting than it sounds. New Year’s resolutions are easy to break, since we tend to populate them with our biggest dreams without plotting any steps on how to attain them. Of course you’ll feel like a failure if you want to buy a house in 2015 and your savings account currently has $3.55 in it—it’s easy to forgive yourself for slacking if you couldn’t see a way to starting the task in the first place.

John Coltrane photographed by William Claxton at the Guggenheim Museum

John Coltrane photographed by William Claxton at the Guggenheim Museum

I like seeing marks of progress, so for the past 15 years I’ve made a giant list of 100 things I want to accomplish in that year alone. I fill the page with books I want to read, shows I intend to go to, work I want to accomplish, things I’ve been putting off that I will finally tackle. I grew up in New York but somehow never made it to the Guggenheim Museum until I put “Go to the Guggenheim” on my list.

A naturally anxious person, I finally started meditating a little each day when I put “Sit your black ass down in a chair for 10 minutes a day and zone out” on my list.

James Baldwin probably writing more than a list

James Baldwin probably writing more than a list

There’s a heaviness to the end of a year, either in spite of or because we know there’s a fresh start around the corner. Shake it off willfully by crafting your next year purposefully. The point isn’t even to finish the entire list, but to start it.

You can keep your list private, or rope in a few friends to keep the encouragement going year round.

It can seem like a pain in the ass to write down 100 tiny goals, but crossing each one off makes you realize that your life is constantly filled with small moments of greatness, moments specific to your needs and desires.


Danielle Paris Color Headshot






See See See Danielle’s site here

Follow her on twitter



One thought on “A Very Intentional New Year by Danielle Henderson

    Leave a Reply

    Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

  1. coach And mentor…

    A Very Intentional New Year by Danielle Henderson | ThandieKay…

    January 8, 2015 at 5:45 pm

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

You may use these HTML tags and attributes: <a href="" title=""> <abbr title=""> <acronym title=""> <b> <blockquote cite=""> <cite> <code> <del datetime=""> <em> <i> <q cite=""> <s> <strike> <strong>

Follow Us

Subscribe to ThandieKay.com!

Email *

What we're tweeting

"RT @parisreview: James Baldwin was born on this day in 1924. Read his Art of Fiction interview here: https://t.co/ElUtP29bwF"
"RT @HadleyFreeman: A friend who lives in the US read this and compared England to "one of those crazy people who goes on a good date and im…"
"RT @ava: When you practice what you preach and the laws of nature bend in acknowledgement. This is Kindness. This is Generosity. This is Lo…"
"Mother superior and Queen @BritishVogue https://t.co/2BQPBq45bY"

Latest Posts