Boxers go the distance. Relationships do not.
51% of Americans definitely or probably would not pursue a relationship with someone who lives far away. Living far away is the single biggest deal-breaker for relationships. Yet long-distance relationships (LDRs) can work if you know what to do.
How can you connect with your partner? What do you need to do to establish emotional intimacy? How can you overcome feeling touch-deprived?
Answer these questions and you can go the distance with your long-distance relationship. Here is your quick guide.
When people think about long-distance relationships, they often think about phone conversations. It is important for you to speak on the phone with your partner. But you’re not limited to your cell phone.
Consider using videoconferencing software so you can make eye contact with each other. You can use Skype or Zoom on your computer. You should also download a piece of software on your phone so you can talk on the move.
Text messages are good if you want to send a quick note to your partner. Feel free to send links to articles or videos you like. You can send photographs of places you’d like to go to with your partner as well.
Make sure your phone works properly. You can go to a company like Pro Phone Repairs online for support.
If you want to send a long note to them, you should send emails or letters instead. Sending letters can create a sense of physical intimacy that electronic messages lack.
Before your LDR begins, talk to your partner about your relationship. Decide whether or not you want to have an open relationship in which either of you can date other people. You should also clarify your schedule so your partner can contact you whenever you like.
Don’t overthink your relationship. A long-distance couple can remain committed to each other for years without any problems. Find times every week when you can touch base with each other.
Keep in mind the time difference. You should find opportunities during which you can speak to each other for a few hours. Time differences may mean you have to schedule things earlier or later during the day.
If you are having a problem in your relationship, talk to your partner. You can also see a psychiatrist or a therapist to resolve relationship difficulties. The more honest you are, the more committed you can be.
Creating Emotional Intimacy
Emotional intimacy is what makes any relationship work. You should be in sync with your partner’s feelings and vice versa. When one partner is having a problem, the other person should be ready to listen and comfort them.
Try to get to a place where you are aware of what your partner needs implicitly. Some occasions call for alone time, while others require getting help from counselors. Be willing to propose solutions that will help them at that moment.
Emotional intimacy does not mean complete reliance on each other. Each of you should have alone time, including periods that last several days.
Each of you should also have friends and family members to turn to for support. It is okay for you to turn to someone else instead of your partner first.
Doing Activities Together
Conversations are one essential component of a relationship. But you should also try to do some activities with your partner.
Feel free to get creative. You can cook meals over a video feed, watch movies together, and go for walks. Go outside your house and discover a new location with your partner.
Try to avoid sitting still. The more you get up and move, the more intimate you will feel with your partner.
Overcoming Touch Deprivation
Many people end an LDR because they are touch-deprived. They want to be in the same room as their partner and hold their hand.
You can create a feeling of physical intimacy by staying close to your screen. Make sure your partner can see your face and body in full detail. Try gesturing with your hands and expressing with your face to give your partner additional details.
When it is appropriate, the two of you can flirt with each other. You can send texts, or you can talk with each other directly.
If you’re up for it, you can do some sexual activities during videoconferences. Establish clear boundaries and get affirmative consent for everything you do.
Meeting in Person
It is important that you meet your partner at some point. The two of you can decide when and where would be the appropriate time and place. You can pick a birthday, a holiday, or a random time.
Do something with your partner that you don’t do long-distance. Even something as simple as going to a new restaurant can create exciting memories for both of you. Talk about what you want to do and develop an itinerary.
Many long-distance couples spend their meetings doing sexual activities. You don’t have to if you don’t want to. But you can schedule some free time into your schedule for them.
Developing Long-Distance Relationships
Long-distance relationships don’t have to be difficult. You should use the latest technology to connect with your partner.
Establish ground rules for your relationship. Devote your time to creating emotional intimacy and trust with your partner. Yet have fun with them through a series of activities.
You can navigate through touch deprivation by talking with your partner. But you can relieve any tension by meeting with them at some point and traveling to new places together.
You need to figure out a lot of things to make a relationship work. Read more relationship guides by following our coverage.